Been Attacked by Breakfast Foods?

[unknown]

Hello Everyone,

My name is Brooke. I was once attacked by a nasty batch of scrambled eggs, but I made it through the physical and emotional pain, and with some help I know you can too.

So if you need emotional help, you've come to the right place.

[wetmahpants]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is priceless, Brooke!

[unknown]

Thanks Sarah. I know I'm being a little eccentric, but I feel really strongly about this.

[phantomusician]

Brooke knows.

Hello. I'm Andy.

Everyone: Hi, Andy!

Yes. My name is Andy and I'm a victim of a bacon attack.

It all began one Saturday morning. *detective music plays* *does one of those weird voices in detective movie flashbacks* My parents out yardsaling. And me, well I was at home. And so was the bacon.

You know me, can't never resist the smell of dead pigs on a frying pan. So I opened up the bacon. No big deal. Started the stove, put a few pieces on the pan. Didn't do nothin' wrong. But the bacon was mad. I talked to Brooke a couple days before, ya see, and she warned me about the bacon monster. I played along. Bacon monster? Pssh. Never in a million years.

Or 24 hours...

So I'm talkin to some people online, ya know? Same old same old. And I'm smelling the luscious ambrosial smell...the 'aroma enrichin the breeze' if you will. It's the bacon. Smelled damn good, too. And...I liked it.

So I was tellin' my friends, "brb". And I gots up, walked to the kichen, and saw it. It was the bacon, in the pan, juicy and hot.

I got out a spatula to take it off the pan. Good idea? Bad idea? You decide. My first scoop got me two steaming pieces of bacon. Put 'em down and went for the other. Well, it slipped, ya see, and fell back onto the pan. I didn't do nothin'. It fell by itself. I even tried to save it. I reached my hand unthinkin'ly into the pan and BAM! My hand...burnt.

It ain't my fault. Nothin' 'ere is my fault. The bacon fell by itself, and I tried to save it. And...and.....it attacked me.

Two whole days of misery, a little white mark on my finger...and a huge scar on my mentality. I don't blame the bacon. I blame........THE SPATULA!!!

[unknown]

Ah yes evil cooking utensils. It's only rumored, but they're said to work together Andy.

It's ok Andy, it's ok. *hugs*

[phantomusician]

I have to make a detective movie based on these breakfast foods and their utencils.

[unknown]

Yeah, that would be great.

People need to know how to deal with and catch these pesky foods and they're evil utensils.

[wetmahpants]

...

[phantomusician]

I had bacon this morning too. My mom cooked it though. And I ate it...

...And I enjoyed it.



Actually it wasn't all THAT great, there was this weird undertaste, it tasted like utter crap and it just wasn't as enjoyable as my last batch of bacon.

[unknown]

I will never get it.

Why do these breakfast foods have to be so evil?

It's a shame they usually taste soooo good.

[jedichick070588]

When I was seven I decided to put some uncooked eggs in the microwave to get it to cook faster than boiling them and I blew the eggs up and the microwave door flew open (this would be a good time to say there were eight eggs in the microwave, I was making breakfast for my family). It didn't attack me per say but the egg sprayed EVERYWHERE. I spent the better part of the morning picking flung egg out of the carpet and scraping it off the windows.

...Maybe this is why I don't like eggs anymore...

[Daquan13]

That post should be deleted because this individual posted botched up non-English content!

He or she was the same one who did this at the Crib until I banned him.